Resting From Struggle

When we carry the burden of unfinished business we may consciously know it is harmful to us. Unconsciously we may still clamour to keep it going, waiting for another person or element of a situation to change.

Dissolving a burden begins at the ‘feeling’ level.

A heavy heart endures oppression and remains hurt. This dispirited position then influences all our behaviour. There is no end to the deadness and exhaustion such a condition attracts. Can we afford to entertain such an inhibition? It is described as an inhibition because our free-flowing instincts are suppressed until we are able to break the cycle. Attachment to this pattern of grievances becomes a part of our identity if we will not let our heavy heart go.

Grief and grievances are different. Emotional suffering that stems from bereavement is a normal and necessary process. It involves concentrated time for sadness, silence, withdrawal from action and even for our conscience to be guilty. This grief requires as long as may be needed to pass through the normal stages of shock, anger, hopelessness, reassessment of one’s life in the face of the loss and then movement forward to a new way as healing permits.

Grievances have little to do with grief triggered by loss but are the meat and bones of most daily struggles we suffer that prevent peace of mind. We get charged up in a cycle of panic, annoyance and displeasure when we have outcomes we consider unsatisfactory, creating struggle as we rail at life. This cycle of stress can bring us much attention and even popularity. We can play the ‘poor me’ card, suffer illness and become fixed in our insistence that another person or situation itself is preying on us or is wrong.

Dissolving a burden for ourselves begins at the ‘feeling’ level but must carry a willingness to engage with letting go of the idea of right and wrong.

Forgiveness does not permit the action of the other person or situation to be forgotten. It permits us to be set free by enabling our conscious mind to take back what we believe has been stolen from us. We do this energetically when we forgive internally, regardless of another person’s reaction or lack of change.

Dig up buried feelings of resistance and begin an internal dialogue. “I may have been carrying a burden about… but I am now willing to let it dissolve.”

What would it take for you to personally reach this point and make a decision to abandon a grievance? Could you literally dissolve it from within? Would you still be the person you think you are? Who are you when you are not fighting against something or someone? Does this competition support your health? Do you need a crisis to keep going?

These types of questions reflect information back to us that shows how we condition ourselves to remain oppressed. Is the perpetrator actually an internal part of you that wants to be in control? ASK THAT PART OF YOU WHAT UNMET NEED IT IS MISSING. Have you received positive strokes from others for being on the edge all the time, just hanging in there?

You may have a legitimate grievance that needs to be heard and responded to by others. If so, keep taking steps to bring that situation to a head so that it can be resolved. Once it is over, let it go. When something is truly over we have little residue of it in our memory, especially not the anger or despair elements.

There is no doubt that life throws us obstacles and side turns in order for us to strengthen. When the need for grievances has become a habit and a recognizable part of our identity, it is time to take stock. Drop some of this burden, especially if we use this ‘method’ to get others to be close to us. It may work for awhile but it usually wears other people out just as much as it wears us down to be inhibited in this way. Our freedom is available at any time.

If you are only just recognizing that some of the reasons for your struggle in life are indeed due to you and the way you run your inner voices, then this is a great learning curve. Try to reach the point where you can quiet this aspect of your inner world and awaken another. Let the radiant and compassionate part of you come to life just a little bit more and see where it takes you. Start by listening to another, especially if they seem to be burdened and involved in struggle that has them venting at life without proper aim.

Ask yourself if that is how you sound, and recognise the pattern. Allow inner resistance to take a back seat. It’s a start. It’s an opening. It’s a rest from struggle.

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